How I found my brother - Part 1

I said I would tell you about how we found our brother and here it is - true to my word. How my brother found us (Part 2) will follow soon.

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One Friday evening in February 2013, my OH and I were on our way to Kettering to meet up with my brothers. We were stopping at the eldest brother's to pick him up and then go on to the the youngest brother's for a drink and a catch up. My mum and eldest brother had moved to Kettering from London in 1999, and my youngest brother moved to Kettering in 2006. My mum died in 2009 and my dad died, aged only 47, in 1980.

When we got to the eldest brother's house he told me that someone had come to the door earlier in the day; spoken to him and had left him a card. He said the person - a man - said that he used to work with my mum. This immediately rang alarm bells because I knew my mum had for most of her working life, worked predominantly with women.

When I read the card (I still have it), I literally went weak at the knees and had to sit down, but I knew at once that what it said was inescapably true. On 13th February, 1953; thirteen months before I was born in March 1954, and before my mum married my dad; my mum gave birth to a baby boy whom she called 'Julian Jerome Flynn' - (her maiden name was Flynn). She gave birth to Julian in St. Pelagia's Home for Penitent Girls (I kid you not) which was  in Highgate, North London. It's since been demolished and is now a gated development.

All three of us were very close to our mum. We all loved her deeply. She was our rock, we knew she loved us unconditionally and she was always there for us. She was great fun to be with; we loved her company and spending time with her. Yet, none of us knew about this other brother. On that night I could only feel shock at the not knowing as we set off to the younger brother's house.

 St. Pelagia's Home

LOST HOSPITALS OF LONDON
	St Pelagia's Home St Joseph's Maternity Home 34 Highgate West Hill, N6 6NJ
	Medical dates: Medical character:	1889 - 1972 Maternity
	St Pelagia's Home for Destitute Girls at No. 25 Bickerton Road in Upper Holloway was founded in 1889 by the Roman Catholic order of the Sisters Servants of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.It provided  accommodation for unmarried mothers and their first-born babies, who were allowed to enter the Home when the child was a fortnight old. The girls were admitted free of charge on condition that they contributed to the earning power of the Home by working in its laundry. The Home later occupied the neighouring house at No. 27 Bickerton Road. In 1934 it moved to West Hill Place, a large house on Highgate West Hill, where it re-opened in 1936 after the Convent of Sacred Hearts had been built adjoining the original mansion. In March 1948 Mayfield, an adjoining 2-storey Victorian house, was bought and equipped as an antenatal and maternity home.  It had 18 beds and was named St Joseph's Maternity Home. The Labour Ward was on the first floor, while the ground floor contained 6 antenatal beds, and 12 postnatal beds in 3- or 5-bedded wards, with 12 cots for the babies.  An isolation room was added later. The patients, who stayed for an average of 12 weeks,  were cared for by three nurses. The LCC paid a guinea (21 shillings - £1.05) a weeks to the Home for expectant mothers and 25 shillings (£1.25) for mothers and babies (this was later increased to £2 10s (£2.50) a week). In 1954 the Homes had 70 beds for mothers and their babies.  Both properties had extensive gardens of 2 acres, but the buildings were in much need of repair, with damaged ceilings in St Joseph's and a leaking flat roof. The Homes closed in 1972. Present status (February 2009) The Homes and the convent were demolished in 1970.  Their site now contains Hill Court and the West Hill Park estate.

Source: Google (for both photos)

This is an article about St. Pelagia's from the Telegraph. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10932969/Convent-that-forced-young-mothers-to-give-up-their-babies.html

It is certainly worth reading although I don't believe my mum was forced to give Julian up by the nuns, but it would have been extremely difficult to have kept him. One, it would have got back to her parents in Ireland and the shame of having an unmarried daughter with a child could have led to ostracism by their community. Secondly,  in England there wasn't much in the way of good affordable childcare in the 1950s and mum would have to have worked to support herself and her child. There was a lot of stigma and shame attached to being an unmarried mother at that time.

When we got to the youngest brother's house I told him get himself a glass of wine and sit down as we had some news for him! We spent the rest of the night on the computer trying to find out more information. The one thing we did know was that our dad wasn't Julian's dad. 

I rang Ireland and spoke to two of our surviving aunts - my mother's sister's - they were totally unaware of Julian. One of the aunt's told me they had only been made aware of my existence (and my mum's marriage) when my mum turned up in Ireland with me aged 11 months! I was left  with my grandparent's and my aunt's, who were only young teenagers at the time, for about 3 months whilst she returned to England and work - of which more later.

Our searches on the computer kept taking us to an agent who represented Brian May (of Queen) and eventually brought us to a picture of someone called 'Julian Littman. This person looked exactly like one of our first cousins; the eldest son of my mum's older and closest sister, Aunty Betty.  Unfortunately, this aunt had died in the late 1980s.

The card that had been left had telephone contact numbers on it and we agreed that in the morning I would call the numbers. I didn't sleep a wink that night and got up really early to search on my own computer for any information. This is what I found:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH_1j-JxftU

Unfortunately; the youtube link does not work. but this one will give a sound clip:
http://www.soundhound.com/?t=100946292571723461

On the album entitled 'Life's Rich Bloody Tapestry' - Track 7 was called: 'The Ballad of Kathy Flynn'. My mum's name was Kathleen and she was known as Kathy Flynn. As soon as I saw this and then listened to a clip of the song; I knew Julian was my brother. I rang my brothers in tears and told them to listen to the song clip.

To be continued...

Half term and some more pattern!

I managed to get out for a walk on Sunday, but I just did road and street walking - 6 miles. It was bitterly cold and very damp.

I was in a monochrome mood on Sunday - I'm sure it's the weather. Everything is charity shopped except the brogues which were bought from a Tesco outlet store about 2 years ago, and the black jeans from Lidl. I had to put a cardigan over the tunic for extra warmth. This short sleeved M&S cardigan has proved very useful. It reminds me that I saw a navy blue short, short sleeved cardigan on Saturday, in Cancer Research for £1.00 and I didn't buy it! What on earth was I thinking?

All jewellery charity shopped, too.

It was half term this week. I do enjoy the break from the school run. I still went into the Red Cross on Monday. I picked up a blue homemade waistcoat from the Ragbag and will probably wear that on Friday when I go to see my son. It was a really cold day but it was bright and sunny; my spirits were immediately lifted by the sunshine. Unfortunately, I still had the lurgy.

 This is the tunic I bought on Saturday - it's by Influence and it's made of knitted material, so it's warm. Jeans; Next, also charity  shopped  on Saturday. Boots: DDB.

I added the trusty short sleeved cardi for added warmth.

Earrings, Bedford market; turquoise ring, Sainsbury's; all other jewellery, charity shopped.

I didn't go to the food bank on Tuesday; I didn't think it was fair to spread my germs to everyone. It was okay yesterday in the Red Cross as I was the only person at the back of the shop.

I went for a 6.6 mile walk on Tuesday instead. I retraced the walk I led last Wednesday but in reverse. It turned out to be a lovely day and the wild life and birds were abundant. I disturbed a Muntjac deer drinking at a stream. I also disturbed a buzzard and 4 pheasants; all of whom flew off in a panic making very annoyed noises. I saw a sparrowhawk;  dunnocks, meadow pipits, blackbirds, chaffinches, blue tits, wood pigeons, a wren and several gulls, rooks and crows in a field - splashing about in the huge puddles left by all the rain we've had.

Look what my Valentine bought me! I'm so lucky to have such a good man...

On Wednesday I felt really rough and decided to chill out. I only went out to pick up the grandchildren both of whom were staying on Wednesday night.

Everything is charity shopped. The skirt is from M and Co; boots from Tesco; jacket from Next. It's a bit like my Country Casuals mustard jacket - it goes with lots of things. I used to wear it a lot when I was teaching; I've had it about 7 or 8 years.

This necklace was bought on Saturday in Age UK Northampton,  for £1.99. Earrings from Sainsbury's and bangles, watch and ring charity shopped.

I went to see my son on Friday. Everything charity shopped except boots and earrings - both from Sainsbury's.

The black maxi dress is by Item, which is a part of Tesco's; I think. I can't remember where I bought this dress. The long jacket is by Primarni and I bought it in the Barnardo's in Great Denham for £1.99. I love the colours. I have lightweight green trousers and a similar coloured green top that will look fab with this jacket when the weather gets warmer!.

My necklace, rings and bangles are all charity shopped.

I've been playing a lot of Monopoly with the grandsons this half term. They have both beaten me. The youngest grandson gets really excited with all the money  - even if if he has to give me rent and I give him change! We are playing the adult version so the idea of millions is quite intoxicating...

It was my eldest brother's birthday on Monday; he's 13 months older than me but we only met him in 2013! I will write a post about how he found us - we didn't know of his existence until February 2013. So, my three brothers, my OH and I went out to celebrate Julian's birthday on Saturday.

Only my jacket and jewellery is charity shopped. The jacket, which is a favourite of mine, was bought on the £1.00 rail in Wellingborough Age UK.

The white top was bought in the La Redoute sale in 2015 and the trousers were bought this year in the sale. I nearly always buy something in the La Redoute sale. I also bought a coat  in the same sale this year - see below. The boots were DDB.

We had a lovely Thai meal, caught up with each other's news and had lots of laughs - all in all a really good night. My birthday is next and I've proposed we go to London for the day. Julian lives in London and always travels to us for birthday celebrations so it would make a change for him and us.

I'll keep you posted!